Liquid Diet

You heard me right.  Liquid diet.  I am starting a liquid diet.  High protein, low carb.  Words like ketosis pop up.

Let me back up.
 
I signed up for a medical weight loss program.  800 calories a day to start.  Yep.  800.  4 meal replacements, each with 27 grams of protein.  Those who are farther in to the program say the next few days are going to suck ass.  I have to track EVERYTHING.  I go to weekly group exercise and and counseling sessions.  I have one on one appointments with dieticians.  I weigh in, I have to show compliance.  I also had to drop a nice chunk of change on the whole thing too.  It wasn't cheap but based on other programs, it could certainly have been more expensive.

In group tonight, the topic was hunger and cravings.  Someone said that she wants to eat donuts when someone has them at work, not because she's craving the donut, but because she craves the social interaction that goes with eating the donut.  Same thing with a glass of wine.  When she hangs out with girlfriends and because she's craving that social experience, she drinks.  She then said that her friends encourage her to have a glass of wine, all the while knowing that she is on a program limiting her intake of carbs.  Which brings me to my next point.

My Mother. Ugh, my Mother.  She was visiting and helping us out with childcare while our sitter was on vaca for a few days.  I decided to start the liquid thing while she was here because, well if I didn't, she would stuff me with noodles and potatoes and corn and all sorts of fried, or as she says, "sauteed", yummy goodness.  I try to tell her that when you flour it and use that much oil, it's fried.  She doesn't believe me.  She's skeptical.  Of everything.  Or am I skeptical of her skepticism?  I used to think it was just my Dad that could push my buttons but since I don't have a relationship with him, no big deal.  But over the years I have become all too aware of how good a job my Mom does when it comes to pushing my buttons.  I would also like to add that on the SECOND day of my liquid diet, she asked me to pick up McDonald's for her.  Not even lying.  I had my head out the window because the smell of fries was driving me that insane. 

Back to the diet.  I need to lose weight, I need to get healthy, I need to learn how to eat.  I'm 3 weeks in and have lost about 9-10 lbs.  I try not to weigh myself every day because it fluctuates so much but that's a losing battle.  I'm starting to incorporate real food, but each meal that I have is very similar to what I would get from a shake.  I had a lunch last week with 21g of protein, 5 carbs and I was totally satisfied after.  It was shocking that I was able to go to a lunch buffet and keep my calorie intake so low.  I was so proud of myself.  I will say that since I've started the diet, I've been slacking on the exercise side of things, expecting the calorie reduction to take care of the weight loss.  I know if I exercise, it will come off faster and I will feel even better than I'm currently feeling.  Note to anyone starting a plan, don't slack on the exercise!  Healthy eating will only get you halfway there.


One thing is for sure in all of this,  I truly feel this is the first time in my life that I've started a weight loss program and I really feel like I have all the tools I need to succeed.  I'm actually learning something this time around.  It's a pretty great feeling. 

What's in a Vow?

I was reading some random internet forum last night and the term "sexless marriage" kept coming up.  Sexless marriage. 

Is that even a thing?  I think the proper question is SHOULD that be a thing?  Looks like it is, at least according to Wikipedia.  A sexless marriage is a marriage in which little or no sex occurs between the two partners. The US National Health and Social Life Survey in 1994 (Laumann et al. 1994) found that 2 percent of the married respondents reported no sexual intimacy in the past year.

Holy crap!  I mean, I know I've struggled with intimacy in my marriage, due to a myriad of issues, but this?!

Then a wife had this to say about wedding vows:
 
I hate this notion that women have to be coddled- constantly complimented, wooed, pursued to be made to feel attractive, yet also left alone for "me time" and "woman time" in order for her to be a contributing member of her marital relationship. NO. You get married, you say vows, which include forsaking all others. The implication being, you're forsaking them FOR ME. Not FOR NOTHING. Sorry, I think sex and intimacy in a marriage is each spouse's right. Women shouldn't have to have their feet kissed and all their changing whims met on a daily basis for their husbands to feel like they've "earned" sex. 

As I've been working through intimacy struggles in my marriage,  I have to say I agree with this post, to a point.  When I got married, I committed myself to my husband, and him to me.  Part of that deal included sex.  I love having sex with him.  Now.  I didn't always.  Let me rephrase.  It's not that I didn't enjoy sex, it's just getting in the right frame of mind was a significant challenge.  Once I got going, things were always enjoyable.  


So many of us get caught up in the anger and resentment of married life.  "He didn't help me pick up the house, why should I do anything nice for him?"  And we keep a mental scorecard of everything our spouse did to upset us, going back to that list each time we even consider doing something nice for them.  


Is this the right way to live?  Is this what Jesus meant when he said Love One Another?  What about what God has to say regarding our bodies?  When you choose to marry, you do not own your body, your spouse does.  And likewise, they no longer own their body, you do.  We get so caught up in our own lives, in our own bodies, that we neglect to forget that our bodies were joined as one.  


And so I gave in.  Sex is no longer a chore to be done once or twice a week.  I now offer myself to my husband freely.  I am truly enjoying it and I'm quite certain he is as well.  I believe he was made with a need.  A need that I was made to fulfill.  While my house may be a bit more messy these days, my mind is a lot more clear.  And my heart, well it's never been as full as it is.  My cup truly does runneth over.